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Types of men you meet in washrooms … |
| TYPE | CHARACTERISTICS |
| EXCITED | Pants are twisted, cannot find hole, rips pants in anger. |
| SOCIABLE | Joins pals for a pee whether he wants one or not. |
| TIMID | Cannot pee if anyone is watching. Pretends he has peed and sneaks back later. |
| NOISY | Whistles loudly. Peeps over partition to have a look at the other fellow's tool. |
| INDIFFERENT | All urinals being occupied, uses sink. |
| CLEVER | Pees without holding tool, shows off by adjusting tie at same time. |
| VAIN | Undoes 5 buttons to take out tool when 2 would have done. |
| ABSENT MINDED | Opens jacket, takes out his tie and pees in his pants |
| WORRIED | Not quite sure what he has been up to lately, makes a furtive but close inspection of his tool while peeing. |
| DISGRUNTLED | Stands for a while, grunts, farts, tries to pee, fails, farts and walks away. |
| SNEAKY | Drops silent fart while peeing, sniffs and looks at the bloke stood next to him. |
| SLOPPY | Pees down into his shoe, walks out with his zip open and adjusts his balls 10 mins later. |
| LEARNED | Reads a book or newspaper while peeing. |
| CHILDISH | Looks at the bottom of the urinal to watch bubbles while peeing. |
| STRONG | Bangs tool on the side of the urinal to knock the drops off. |
| DRUNKEN | Pulls out his tool, sees two, puts one back and pees in his trousers |
| EMBARRASSED | Covers his tool with both hands as he stands there and pees through his fingers. |
| COCKEYED | Stands in one cubical and pees in next. |
| SCARED | Those that look at the wall because they are scared to look at what they're holding |